As many of my readers may know or suspect, I am not always very adept at handling social situations. I've always felt that there is far too much uncertainty and far too many unknown variables in most social interactions. To be honest, most social occasions have always felt like an inefficient waste of time, and I've always been keenly suspicious of those who enjoy themselves and find social interactions 'natural'.
*coughs* Wow, reading that paragraph makes me sound like a complete introvert. While many of you may think that as a result I must be an exceedingly awkward, quiet person, this is in fact not the case. Over the years, I learned that there are a set of rules that one can fall back on as a default setting in social gatherings: manners. So, upshot is that I've become a very polite person on the surface, but when anyone gets to know me, they realize that deep down (or not-so-deep down) I'm an asshole. Oh, well.
Anyways, I've ingrained 'polite' responses and actions into myself so deeply that I don't even notice I do them any more. Sometimes this can lead to embarrassment, such as the following scenario.
Many times when people greet me they say, 'Hello, wiggin, how are you!' And my inevitable response is, 'Hey! I'm doing fine, how are you?' It's polite, simple, and allows the other individual to decide whether to (a) have a longer conversation, or (b) keep walking. Leaving such decisions out of my hands is the cornerstone of my strategy for social situations - keep the other person talking, and let them steer the coversation (of course, this all disappears as soon as I get to know someone, but meh).
Unfortunately, sometimes people instead greet me with 'Hello, wiggin!' I then get into trouble when I automatically say 'Hey! I'm doing fine...'
*hangs head* Yes, volunteering such banal information has become a reflex. It invariably causes the other person to do a double take - either ignoring the non sequitur or listening to me further make a fool of myself by saying, 'Uh, I guess you actually didn't ask how I was doing, and I just volunteered the information. Never mind.'
And that's why I like machines more than people.
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11 comments:
Must not be true. one. because you feel for gilad shalit's family and two. because you have a girlfriend...
you're a clever boy-genius, give it another try and perhaps think of another novel explanation than the same old one you've been trotting out time and again... I am not willing to believe you are willing to let yourself off the hook that easily.
To be honest, I'm not sure I follow you.
Wow, I do the exact same thing. Great minds must think alike...or be equally poor in social situations.
*grins* Certainly true. Perhaps we should look at the bright side: we can tell lesser minds by the fact that they are socially capable.
Er... or something like that.
That's what I tell my shrink. ;)
(still a Confused Jew)
Hans?!
...not going to ask. But I'll have to check out your blog. *grins*
I thought it was obvious from a certain other place I used one of the names. Still, this mystery is more interesting than social interaction. ;)
Oh, no, I know who you are, Mr. Low Key. I just don't know why you're called Hans, now. ;)
It's a nickname from my time in the land where the sun never shines. It's the first name of one of the top IR scholars. He was socially inept too. ;)
Morganthau, eh? Or however the hell you spell his name.
Someday you'll have to tell me about your time in prison. :p
I'll tell you when I see you, even if you don't ask the question, on the "I'm fine. How are you?" principle. ;)
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